White Rabbit's on the Run

Recovery is a funny thing.

Some people never quite get over the bad things that happen to them.  They let it eat at them year after year as they slowly transform into a completely different being. They get to the point where they don't even recognize themselves, and then it's over. Yes, I guess sometimes people are brought back to their original selves, but usually they just stay bitter, hopeless and lost.

After pondering the idea of losing ones humanity, I must say it sounds awful.

Why not take the good, the bad, and everything in between and use those ingredients to bake up a completely new and more fantastic life? I've had my fair share of tragedies, as we all have. It's nothing new to find out something about someone that makes you feel sorry for them, if even for a moment. But why can't more people make it through the storm and realize that these trials and tribulations were more of a mold. These horrid things were shaping us into the people we are suppose to become. And instead of embracing this fact, most people give up halfway through and come out of the storm half-molded, if you will. They then have an outlook on life that resembles Quasimodo when it should look something like...I don't know...Hercules. Ok yes, maybe I did just reference a few Disney movies, but honestly are you following me?

All i'm ranting about is positivity. Faith. Compassion. Things that we gain from these bad experiences, if we let ourselves. If not, then it's more along the lines of negativity, hopelessness, and spitefulness.

I've seen my life change before my eyes. In 7 years (yes, lucky number 7) I have seen things go from my sense of "normal" to horrible to okay to simply amazing! It's not because I won the lottery or married Fabio or anything spectacular like that. It's because I started doing things that were...wait for it...GOOD for me. I take care of myself and I have learned to love others and trust that no matter what is thrown my way I can handle it and make it through. A little faith goes a long way. It's a good thing too, because It took so long for me to get in a "good" place in my life that I feel like time is running out to enjoy it. This is a good thing, despite what you may think, because I make and effort to enjoy everything I do, which in turn makes life more grand, fulfilling and all of those other wonderful adjectives I like to use to get my point across.

So please, remember, life is not going to wait for you. Take the good with the bad, and run like hell with it. Enjoy each moment and start living today.

"Time won't wait so don't be late...White rabbit's on the run"

Get busy

If you could choose one piece of advice to follow, that consumed most of your beliefs and led you to new directions in your life, what would it be? Is it really that easy? Can one statement represent all that makes us who we are? I highly doubt that you can fit the essence of one's life into a  mouthful of words...or even in words at all.

Through each and every major problem i've encountered, I've pursued the wisdom of those around me to help gain a perspective that i cannot seem to grasp at that moment. I also take things that inspire me and turn them into my own forms of advice.

The one phrase that comes to mind when i think of inspirational quotes was spoken by a man after nineteen years of being imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit. "Get busy living, or get busy dying."

Simple, direct, and true. How many times do the little setback's in life destroy our hope for change. How many times do we allow failure stop us from perusing our dreams, instead of push us towards the direction meant for us the entire time?

So how did the innocent man's journey end? He lived a long happy life on the Pacific Ocean in Mexico after a grand escape that was years in the making. Now life doesn't always grant us "grand escapes" to paradise after we've paid the price of our mistakes for years and years...but why hang on to the things we did not decide for ourselves...the things that take us over and consume the happiness we were meant to have?

In life we must decide to either "get busy living, or get busy dying"...it's time to take the burdens off your sholders and move on...time for doing those things you've always wanted to do. Time to take the time to truly live, to enjoy it all and realize it's at our fingertips.

So get busy...

Wine & Wisdom

Someone once told me, in a not so logical way, that "if you're going to be dumb, you gotta be tough"

I laughed at once and realized the meaning of this phrase pertained to the fact that we were all drinking, heavily might i add, and had work early in the morning. So being dumb was drinking so much at such a late hour, and being tough would mean facing the trek to work early in the morning with a hangover and a permanent nauseous feeling.

After a year and a half of receiving this humorous advice, i realized it relates to many, many things. I, above most anyone, has mastered the art of doing so called "dumb things" and paying for it later. 
Now i never really intentionally get myself into these situations...although i have been known to have fair warning and jump head first despite myself (on more than one occasion), but i consider that more of being an adventure-seeker than being the poster child for stupidity. 
I've always been one to worry about missing out on life's experiences, on the little things that make a person who they truly are. This in turn has lead me down some very treacherous roads...i must say I've experienced a lot and learned things that can only be taught with the lessons given...but at what costs?
This has weighed heavily on my mind recently, and as i sit here sipping my wine and enjoying the soft ambiance of jazz music in the background, i realize that no matter what you regret--you can't change anything. 
Life is what it is...and if you choose to play the game, as most of us do, you have to put your whole heart into it. I certainly know that i have.

I have discovered that no matter what i've lost, no matter how dumb i was, i have to be tough, i have to move on, i have to keep going. If life is a game, then i want to win, not forfeit.
It may not be easy, but the wine helps :)

To Forget

Someone once asked me why i wanted to be a writer. My answer was definitely not a conventional one...
The reason most people want to write is to report current events, for creative purposes, to be known to the world, and most importantly to make money. For me it's different.
I write to rid myself of the memories of life. Not all of them. Most are pretty good, and i wouldn't mind remembering them. But like most people, i have had things happen to me and people i love that hurt to remember, that do nothing but darken my soul when a flash of it passes through my body and i see it all again...
There are also memories of times that were good but took a turn for the worst...in this case all good and bad memories intertwine and confuse me...flood me with emotions of happiness and regret.
When i write, i take a part of myself, of my life and turn it into a story that people can relate and connect to. I don't consider any of my work actual fiction. It's always about something I've experienced, something that has deeply effected me in one way or another.
It may not make any sense to anyone else, but i makes my creativity real, it gives my work a connection to me. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. Hopefully it gives the reader a sense of comfort.
By writing down these experiences, by passing them on for the world to see in a creative and relate-able way, i feel as though it heals a part of my soul, as well as someone else...someone who has been in the same position and feels as alone as i do when i am forced to remember what happened. If this gives them hope in any way...then it's all worth it to me. I feel as though i can move on from that memory and that i does not have the same power over me as it did before.

Therefore when people ask me why i want to be a writer...i simply answer: to forget.